Trials and Tribulations with C.P.P.S.

I am a 28 year old in house attorney who struggles with cpps. Although this blog will be about my struggles, fears, trials, and tribulations associated with this condition I am much more than that. I am a fiance' to my wonderful bride to be. I am a son to two wonderful parents. I am a friend to many wonderful people in my life. I am an athlete, and former bodybuilder, who hopes to one day beat this disease and return to the competitive stage.

Location: Cincinnati, Ohio, United States

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Sorry, Its Been A While

So much has happened regarding my condition since I posted in April and May. The best thing I get to say is that Ive improved a great deal. I have to attribute that largely to my attending the Stanford Protocol seminars in early December.

Up to that point I had been stumbling along trying to follow the protocol but to no true avail. I wasnt doing the proper stretches for my trigger points; I wasnt doing internal massage correctly; nor was I even treating external trigger points.

Suffice it to say, I am now on the right track. I feel that I should comment on trigger points, trigger point therapy, and relaxation. This will be for another post.

Since April these are the great things that have happened to me. I got married to a truly wonderful woman. I got a substantial raise at work. I got news that my son was moving back into town. I bought my dream car, an Infinit G35x. We bought our dream house equipped with a media room and a pool table. Ive been able to return to the gym and do light cardio and weight sessions. Yeah, this thing sucks, but other than dealing with this, Ive had a decent past 8 months.

Heres to many more, and improved health.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

The Initial Symptoms

I wanted to let those readers know what my initial symptoms consisted of; pain in the prostate, inflammation in my urinary tract, more pain after ejaculation, dual ache in the groin, pain in the left testicle, feeling of a ball stuck up my ass, and a very strong muscle contraction before voiding followed by more urinary tract pain. These were my symptoms when this condition was at its worst. Also slight depression as I didnt know what was wrong, I worried constantly, and didnt go out of the house once I got home from school. Not fun to say the least.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Male Chronic Pelvic Pain Site

So Which Came First?

No, I am not talking about the chicken or the egg. Though, that does make for a somewhat interesting, but overly examined topic. Im talking about my cpps and prostate inflammation. When I first finally realized something was wrong I had an inflammed prostate. Many trips to the uro and many antibiotics [another topic altogether] did nothing. I should also mention, like most cpps sufferers, I had no infection in the prostate. Wanna know how they figure that out? [A grown man stuck his finger in my asshole with a lot of lubrication and pushed like hell on my prostate. Think that sucks, then he takes a glass slide, asks you to actually "milk" your penis on the slide, and some clear prostate fluid comes out and is captured]. But, I digress.

When I really think back on my symtoms leading up the inflammed prostate I start to think that the pelvic floor was getting unhealthy about a year prior to this, but I had been clenching much longer. How do I know? I remember two symptoms that I did little about. One, I felt very painful and sharp pains in my pelvic floor that came and went like a lightning bolt, thats the best I can explain. After a little research I found that this was proctalgia fugax, but since it was so fleeting I didnt worry about it. Interesting enough they also used to call this condition the perfectionist boys disease, sound familiar to me, you bet. I figured, hell, we all have little pains here and there, no big deal. However, about 6 months before the prostate got inflammed I remember if I took a morning duce my urinary tract would be slightly inflammed afterwards. Looking back I know now that was because my levator muscles were getting increasinly knotted and cramped, and taking a duce caused irritation to be referred to my urinary tract since both sphincters are really one tube.

Howevere, when the prostate inflammation hit, the uros treated it as an infection eventhough there wasnt one. I was on ABs for about 12 weeks or longer, again for another post, but suffice it to say right here this IS a horrible idea.

Reflecting back now I believe the pelvic floor was telling me hey man, dummy, nimrod, dufus, Mr. Vanity, something is wrong here. I ignored it because I looked good, and for the most part felt as good as I looked. I now have realized that my childhood fears, insecurities led me to a life of fitness and muscle adoration, which led me to be a pelvic clencher. Seem like a stretch, not to me. You see I never liked the pooch stomach and that shallow chest, over time I learned to improve my posture. However, along with this I also began to suck in my stomach. Was I fat? Not at all, but this lifted my ribcage making my upper body look bigger, and brought my waistline in. But, in order to this I pulled up with my pelvic floor muscles. This position became the norm for me so much so that I forgot how to let my stomach out.

Only recently have I discovered that I maintained this sucked in position when I sat and stood up, and probably only relaxed when I slept, which explains why in the very beginning of morning my symptoms are less, I relax fully. I have since began walking around with my belly out. Man is this a damper on the spirits. I feel like Homer Simpson or something, but my symptoms have drastically went down in less than five days of doing this. Am I recovered, not in the slightest, but its a step. With my belly out, I can drop the pelvic floor much more effectively, and I am learning to try to find a more natural resting spot. But, for now it appears I went from a 29 inch waist to about a 33. Still not bad, but its tough to swallow for a vain guy like me.

Oh This is Gonna Be Deep, get out the row boat!

I would like to reflect on my childhood as I lead up to what I believe is the cause of my cpps. As a very young child my coordination came quick. I was a step faster than all the kids, stronger, and sports came very easy to me. Soccer was my first love and it wasnt uncommon for me to score 3-4 goals per game with little effort. I also excelled at baseball and basketball despite my short stature. However, as I aged something was happening or not happening. The children around me were growing, and growing fast. They were suddenly not a step behind me, but a step ahead of me. Yep, you guessed I was going to be a late bloomer in life, which was strange based on my early development, and the fact my dad was the height he is now in the 8th grade and practically had a full beard. What this meant was a childhood of self doubt, underdevelopment, and undermuscled.

I still was a decent athlete despite my late development as I still had my coordination and was a skilled player. I was just no longer able to take over the game at will like when I was younger. When full blown puberty hit things got harder as the boys became men, and developed muscle. Two things that vividly stick out from my childhood. While in the eighth grade I went to a soccer tryout and we had to go skins. My dad commented on how I was the only kid with a bit of a belly. I wasnt fat, but my stomach sure stuck out a bit. In fact, I was a skinny little kid. But, this comment stuck with me all those years. He probably has no clue he ever said it. The other thing was my friends who were both very muscular kids for thier age would comment on my lack of chest muscle development, telling me I had a bird cage, and making tweetie sounds. It was all in good fun, and they were close friends, but it hurt, and stuck with me into adulthood. Reflecting on this things, its no wonder I took the attitude that I will show you all.

In the spring of my 19th year I took up bodybuilding and went from the first picture posted to the second picture within five years of balls to the wall training that only a perfectionist knows how to do. However, such a journey I did not travel without it taking a toll on my pelvic floor. And this gets into how I developed cpps, which is for the next post...

*Note, the fact I cant get the pictures the right size bugs the crap out of me, but my computer skills are somewhat limited.


So if you made your way to my site you either probably have cpps, think you have cpps, or have a loved one with cpps. If you fit none of these descriptions you are probably wondering what C.P.P.S. stands for. Ready, Constant Pussy Pounding Stud, dont believe me, you are too sharp. I wish that is what it stood for. It actually stands for chronic pelvic pain syndrome. It actually pains me to even write that damn condition, because seeing it in writing means I have really made the connection that I have it. Actually, writing this blog is starting to really make it hit home that I in fact suffer from this conditon. Some may call it a disease, but I will refer to it as a condition. Disease to me connotates sickness and ill health. Although my pelvic floor is in a state of stress right now, I refuse to think of myself as sick or infirmed. So get it right, its a condition.

Throughout this blog I will discuss how I came down with this condition, or how I think I came down with this condition. I will even begin from childhood, as I think its very important to really think about who you are, and why you are the way you are. This will actually be my next post. I will outline my treatment to date. The books Ive read. I will outline what has worked and what has not as far as supplements go. Supplements, what I mean are pills, phytotherapy, NSAIDS, benzodiazapines, and the like. I will also attempt to bring humor to this condition as we all need to learn to laugh. However, I have my days where things are not going to well, and its hard to look at the bright side of life, so you will get those posts too. I will also try to direct you to good resources and posts on other boards, if, and when, I find them.