Trials and Tribulations with C.P.P.S.

I am a 28 year old in house attorney who struggles with cpps. Although this blog will be about my struggles, fears, trials, and tribulations associated with this condition I am much more than that. I am a fiance' to my wonderful bride to be. I am a son to two wonderful parents. I am a friend to many wonderful people in my life. I am an athlete, and former bodybuilder, who hopes to one day beat this disease and return to the competitive stage.

Location: Cincinnati, Ohio, United States

Friday, April 21, 2006

So Which Came First?

No, I am not talking about the chicken or the egg. Though, that does make for a somewhat interesting, but overly examined topic. Im talking about my cpps and prostate inflammation. When I first finally realized something was wrong I had an inflammed prostate. Many trips to the uro and many antibiotics [another topic altogether] did nothing. I should also mention, like most cpps sufferers, I had no infection in the prostate. Wanna know how they figure that out? [A grown man stuck his finger in my asshole with a lot of lubrication and pushed like hell on my prostate. Think that sucks, then he takes a glass slide, asks you to actually "milk" your penis on the slide, and some clear prostate fluid comes out and is captured]. But, I digress.

When I really think back on my symtoms leading up the inflammed prostate I start to think that the pelvic floor was getting unhealthy about a year prior to this, but I had been clenching much longer. How do I know? I remember two symptoms that I did little about. One, I felt very painful and sharp pains in my pelvic floor that came and went like a lightning bolt, thats the best I can explain. After a little research I found that this was proctalgia fugax, but since it was so fleeting I didnt worry about it. Interesting enough they also used to call this condition the perfectionist boys disease, sound familiar to me, you bet. I figured, hell, we all have little pains here and there, no big deal. However, about 6 months before the prostate got inflammed I remember if I took a morning duce my urinary tract would be slightly inflammed afterwards. Looking back I know now that was because my levator muscles were getting increasinly knotted and cramped, and taking a duce caused irritation to be referred to my urinary tract since both sphincters are really one tube.

Howevere, when the prostate inflammation hit, the uros treated it as an infection eventhough there wasnt one. I was on ABs for about 12 weeks or longer, again for another post, but suffice it to say right here this IS a horrible idea.

Reflecting back now I believe the pelvic floor was telling me hey man, dummy, nimrod, dufus, Mr. Vanity, something is wrong here. I ignored it because I looked good, and for the most part felt as good as I looked. I now have realized that my childhood fears, insecurities led me to a life of fitness and muscle adoration, which led me to be a pelvic clencher. Seem like a stretch, not to me. You see I never liked the pooch stomach and that shallow chest, over time I learned to improve my posture. However, along with this I also began to suck in my stomach. Was I fat? Not at all, but this lifted my ribcage making my upper body look bigger, and brought my waistline in. But, in order to this I pulled up with my pelvic floor muscles. This position became the norm for me so much so that I forgot how to let my stomach out.

Only recently have I discovered that I maintained this sucked in position when I sat and stood up, and probably only relaxed when I slept, which explains why in the very beginning of morning my symptoms are less, I relax fully. I have since began walking around with my belly out. Man is this a damper on the spirits. I feel like Homer Simpson or something, but my symptoms have drastically went down in less than five days of doing this. Am I recovered, not in the slightest, but its a step. With my belly out, I can drop the pelvic floor much more effectively, and I am learning to try to find a more natural resting spot. But, for now it appears I went from a 29 inch waist to about a 33. Still not bad, but its tough to swallow for a vain guy like me.


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